A Plan is Made

"I need your help."

Diogo looked up from the knife he was sharpening, or at least attempting to. I saw his lack of progress by his flushed face and the furrowing of his brow.

I swallowed hard, and stared at a spot over his shoulder. "Please."

"What is it?"

"We need to get money."

He laughed, rather loudly, so I shushed him.

"Exactly, how are we going to do that, my lady? Do you think we're going to just go robbing people? Rob the rich to feed the poor?"

Why was it that everytime he spoke to me, his voice dripped with sarcasm and disdain?

"I have a plan."

"No."

He went back to his knife. I pulled out my casket, full of my mother's jewels and pushed it under his nose. His head snapped up and he raised one eyebrow. I nodded. Never look back.....

"Does Alfonso know?"

"No," I said, stashing the casket back into my bag. "And he won't, if I can help it. Not until after. You know he would commit highway robbery before he would allow me to sell these."

"Hmmm. Why are you wanting the money?"

"For Burga. She needs a home. We all need a home, Diogo."

"We're fine here."

I laughed. "Look around. This isn't a home. We're out here freezing our asses off, praying for a spring that won't come. It's April and I'm still wearing my heavy cloak. Diogo.....Burga will die if we don't try."

He sighed and threw his knife down. "Why am I always caught up in your schemes?"

"This is the first time."

Diogo snorted. "Why me?"

I smiled malevolently. "Because you're just like me, that's why."

He looked up at me in surprise.

I nodded in triumph. Finally I caught him off guard! "That's right."

He shook his head, as if he couldn't believe me and started to put on his boots.

"Never heard that from a woman before," he muttered.

I giggled. "And you'll never hear it from another."

"Hmm. How are we going to do this, my lady?"

"Very carefully."

He glared and I smiled.

"This is where you come in, Diogo. I need you to find me a buyer."

"Hah, and how in the hell do you expect me to do that? Pull one out of my ass?"

I crossed my arms and looked down at him. "That's exactly how. Find someone who is looking to get rid of some land, a house, whatever. We'll trade him."

Diogo just shook his head at me. I watched him get up and leave camp, grabbing his bow and sheath of arrows on the way.

It took him two days. By the end, my nails were chewed down to stubs, and the insides of my mouth had sores from where I worried on my cheeks.

It took everything I had not to run him over when he came back to camp, with a rabbit in his hand. Felipe and Alfonso made fun of him, but Diogo ignored them and met my eyes. He gestured to the tent with a jerk of his head. I nodded back at him, very slowly. He disappeared into the tent.

Alfonso and Felipe were playing a game of punch me, punch you. I walked over, just in time for Felipe to land a huge one on Alfonso's arm.

"Bastard!" He laughed. "I was distracted in the form of the wife!"

"Don't use me as an excuse," I chided Alfonso.

I turned and smiled at Felipe. "She looks good, doesn't she?"

He smiled back. "She does. Thank you for letting me see her."

I waved him off. "Please, it's my pleasure. It did her good to see you too, Felipe."

"Isn't my wife just so sweet?" Alfonso joked as he leaned in to kiss me.

My heart fluttered and I kissed him back.

Inside the tent, Diogo cleared his throat rather loudly. I pulled away from Alfonso.

"I'm going to have a bit of a nap, Alfonso."

"Do that, baby."

He smiled and stroked my face. I kissed his hand and then headed off to the tent.

I threw him a stunning grin over my shoulder as I entered the tent. The bag with my casket lay at the foot of the bed. Diogo was seated near the pallet so I sat myself across from him, eyeing the casket.

His eyes followed mine. "It's not going anywhere."

I only glared at him. "Well?"

"I found him. Nasty man. We're to meet him in the tavern tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Aye, tonight. It was tonight or not at all. If you give me the---"

"---no! I mean," I cleared my throat. "I mean, I will go with you. To make sure we get a fair price."

He snorted. "Fair price? There won't be a fair price. We'll be lucky if he doesn't call the guards to us and accuse us of theft. You are not coming."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Come hell or high water, Diogo, I will be going. These are mine and they're mine to sell as I chose. I don't care if I have to walk screaming your name, every step of the way. I am coming."

He smirked. "Exactly how are you supposed to be coming? Alfonso will never let you go."

"That's why we need a distraction."

"Oh? And how exactly are we going to do that?"

I stood up, brushing off my skirts and smirked. "Mathlida. She knows what I'm doing. She hates it, but she knows."

"What's the plan then?"

"I'm letting Beans into the woods and Mathlida will come out and say she got stuck somewhere and please will they come help? You will offer to stay behind with me--I'll have a horrible headache--and then we can sneak off. Mathlida will come back to camp ahead of them, where she'll turn and say that we ran off because we thought we heard something and we'll meet them where ever."

He was grimacing.

"What?"

"That's....overcomplicated."

"Perhaps, but can you think of another?"

"No," he admitted, pursing his lips.

I nodded. "I don't like it, but....."

"How will you tell him that suddenly we've acquired a new home?"

Shit! I froze. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Perhaps the truth?"

"Yes, maybe....when we get there."

He stood up and left the tent without another word. I watched him go, feeling a mixture of regret and camaraderie. I did tell him the truth, the other day. We were more alike than he knew.

I reached down and picked up the bag sitting at the end of the pallet. I held it to my aching heart as I sat back down. I put it in my lap and stared at the wall of the tent. Never look back.

Maddie Makes a Shocking Discovery

As soon as I walked into our camp, Felipe ambushed me. "How is she?! What's going on?"

I looked softly at him. "We're doing everything we can. She's okay for now."

Diogo stopped sharpening his knife, watching us warily. Probably annoyed at me. Behind him, Beans trotted up, her tail wagging. I focused on her, tilting my head to the side, the better to see behind Felipe.

He moved his head in front of my line of vision. "Where is she?"

I looked back at Felipe. "She's with a girl I found."

Felipe grabbed my arms and squeezed. "You left her with a stranger?!"

I yanked away, losing my balance.

He caught me again. Beans barked, causing Diogo to calmly put his knife in his boot.

"Mathlida is there! Stop."

Felipe pushed me away. "You left her. All of this, because of you."

Diogo rose to his feet and slowly headed our way. Beans followed him, still barking.

"Me?" I cried. "I wasn't the one who got her into trouble. You only have yourself to blame for that, good sir!"

Felipe grabbed me shook me hard. My head bobbed and flopped back and forth, making me dizzy, the world a blurry vision in front of my eyes.

"What the fuck?"

Everything was hazy and I slipped backwards as Felipe let go. I landed hard on my rump. A large woosh of air escaped my lungs. I gasped for air. Over my head I heard Felipe and someone else yelling, but it made no sense. I could only focus on all the breath I was not getting.

A strong pair of hands pushed my head between my knees.

I heard Faustino's soothing voice in my ear. "Take a deep breath. Just calm down."

"Alfonso?"

"He's out hunting."

"Wait...who is yelling?"

"Felipe and Diogo."

"What?"

"Come on, up you go." Faustino said as he pulled me to my feet.

I rubbed my arms while glancing back at Faustino. I inhaled deeply, glad that my breathing was back to normal. Faustino was focused on Felipe and Diogo.

"Enough." His voice was quiet, but firm. It carried over to them. "That is enough. Felipe, I'm very sure that Maudrun would not have left Ethelburga unless she felt it was right to do so. She is with Mathlida, who is more than capable."

"She left my wife with a stranger!"

Faustino nodded and stood beside me, one arm around my waist. "Yes, I am aware. But we don't have a choice. And I would not advertise that you harmed the lady you swore to protect. I understand your fears, but do not take it out on Maudrun who is doing her best. Now, go sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up."

Diogo and I both stared open mouthed at Faustino. His face was impassive, as cool as it ever was.

Faustino guided me to a rock and helped me sit down. He handed me a bowl of something and a spoon.

"Eat."

I nodded and scraped the spoon against the bowl. The bowl we didn't have the previous day. I hoped it wasn't stolen, but I knew better. Just like I knew that Alfonso and the boys probably stole the weapons as well. With trembling hands I ate the gruel. It felt like glue all the way down to my stomach, where it settled unevenly.

I smiled up at him. "Mathlida loves you so."

Faustino raised his eyebrows. "Ah so she does?"

"You know it," I said and scraped the scraps from the bottom of the bowl. "I see the way she fawns over you."

He chuckled and patted me on the back. I looked at the ground.

"Faustino, how....how did you guys do this for years?"

His smiled faded and he stared far away into the distance. "Ah, well I've been at it a lot longer than your husband."

He sat beside me, taking one of my hands into his own. "You learn to value your instincts, your friends and God. You learn to let go of anger, hatred, fear and worldly possessions."

I laughed, a little ironically. "I guess that's the part I'm having trouble with, Faustino. Letting go of my things."

"Oh, that reminds me. Mathlida dropped off the bag that Ethelburga was holding earlier. Said it was important. I'll fetch it for you."

He grunted as he rose to his feet. I watched him walk across to the fire where a pouting Felipe sat. They exchanged words and Felipe followed him into the small, makeshift tent. I shuffled my feet. Was Burga carrying a bag that day? I couldn't remember.

Faustino emerged, carrying Burga's small leather bag. He handed it to me. I had to reach to grab it. The bowl and spoon slipped from my fingers as I reached for the bag.

I nearly dropped it. "Oof. It's awfully heavy."

"Look inside," Faustino said, settling next to me once more.

I opened the bag and dropped it immediately. Oh my god.

"Maddie?"

A low moan escaped my mouth and I pressed my hands against my lips. I looked at Faustino with tears in my eyes. Between sobs I said, "She saved my casket. With the jewels. She...."

I stopped, the gruel in my stomach turning and turning, spinning out of control.

"She's....she's going to....die," I whispered. "And she was still taking care of me."

I panted and Faustino pushed my head down again.

"What makes you say she'll die?"

I looked up at Faustino standing above me. "Because, she has nowhere to rest. Except in the dirty hut of a peasant. She....She can't do this. That's what Ann--the healing woman--said. She can't live this way. Oh god."

"Up you get," Faustino said, pulling me to my feet. "Let's lie you down."

He helped me to the tent and into a sleeping roll. "Shhhh...."

I rolled over and sobbed. Burga had been my companion since I was a child. Her father had known Mathlida, who had been the family nurse for years. When her father and mother perished in an awful fire, Mathlida suggested Burga as a maid for me to my mother. How could I lose her?

Beans came and licked the tears from my face. I reached out and stroked her fur, feeling temporarily soothed. She stepped onto the pallet and nosed her way under the covers, my fingers still entangled in her fur. She turned twice under the blankets and pressed herself against me. I curled my body protectively around her and closed my eyes.

What felt like a second later, I heard my husband's voice above. I rolled over to find the light soft and faded. Had I fallen asleep? Beans lay on Alfonso's side of the bed.

He smiled down at me and stroked my face. "Hello, Maddie."

I caught his hand in my own and kissed it.

"Are you feeling better?"

I shook my head, but sat up anyway. I lifted my arms to him, like a child and he sat beside me and held me, rocking me back and forth.

I cuddled up against his chest, finally feeling safe. The first time since all of this started.

"How is she?" He asked, lips pressed to my hair.

I shook my head. "Not well. We need to move her, but we can't move her."

Alfonso sighed. "Can't anything be...easy?"

"Hah, if it were easy it wouldn't be...fun!"

He inhaled deeply. "I will figure something out, Maddie. I promise. I must speak with Faustino first."

I let him go and nodded. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I ran my fingers through his hair as I kissed him, breathing and tasting him. He pulled away and smiled at me.

"Not now."

He got up. As he walked to the entrance of the tent I playfully slapped his butt. He turned and pretended to glare briefly at me. Then he was gone.

I fiddled with the laces on my dress, wondering what we could do for her. What I could do for her. Why couldn't we have the safe haven Edward promised us? Where was Edward, anyway? I hoped he was safe. Hopefully Father's men wouldn't hurt him.

I tugged harder on the laces, trying to pull the thoughts from my head. We needed a home.

My stomach sank. I knew what I had to do, but could I? Would I?

Vanna Meets the Girl

Vanna slammed down her hot mug, fuming silently. Yet another person pounding on her door.

No, they wouldn't acknowledge her at the market, but they surely would come begging for her services. She rose to her feet as slowly as she could. If they wanted her, they could wait another minute, couldn't they?

As she rinsed her mug in the wash basin, she smirked to herself.

Payback....it was a bitch, wasn't it? She was tired of the scorn, the avoidance and the outright hatred.

Finally, she moseyed over to the door and opened it, only to find a young disheveled woman she never saw before.

"Please!" The girl cried. "You have to help me...Or find someone to help. My..ma---my friend, I think she's dying. She's....she was....or maybe still is...pregnant and now she's bleeding. Please!"

Vanna looked over the poor girl. Her dress was clean, but not well made. Her hair was tangled and loose, but she played with a wedding ring as her eyes darted around the inside of Vanna's house. This girl was no ordinary peasant, nor was she the Lord's daughter or her little friends.

"Of course. I need to grab my medicines."

"Oh...Thank you! Thank you---I'm....ever so grateful!"

Vanna nodded and stepped back into the house. The poor girl was frightened out of her mind, shaking from either cold or worry. Vanna was quick to stuff her medicines into a sack, along with a poultice or two. If the girl was as bad off as this one said, the only thing Vanna could do for her would be to ease her pain as she passed on.

"Where is she?" Vanna asked as she snapped her front door shut.

"In the forest."

"What the---why is she in the forest?"

Vanna stopped and stared at the girl. She was one of the outlaws the sheriff was looking for, though Vanna was surprised that she was a woman.

"I don't have a good feeling about this."

The girl threw herself to her knees. "Please! Oh please, if you don't, she will die....Please, as an act of good Christian faith."

Vanna stared down at the girl. "What is your name?"

"Maudrun. Call me Maddie. Please."

Vanna didn't know what made her decide to follow the girl. She didn't know if it was the girl's tone, demeanor or just God himself, but she followed the girl---Maddie---all the same.

"Thank you! Oh, thank you!"

Maddie started to run, and Vanna found it hard to keep up with her.

She was out of breath by the time they reached the young girl. Maddie dropped to her knees on the piney forest bed next to her.

Vanna halted in her tracks at the sight of the girl.

There was so much blood. More blood than she'd ever dealt with before. Vanna swallowed hard. Her specialty didn't include miscarrying women, but bellyaches and pox related illnesses. She honestly didn't know what to do.

Another voice broke Vanna from her reverie. She started as a redheaded woman stepped through the thicket.

"Did you find someone?"

"Yes," Maddie panted. "Here! Her name is...."

"Ariana...." Vanna whispered.

Maddie stroked the girls cheek. "Ariana. She's here to help."

Vanna half-smiled, half-grimaced. She looked over at the older woman, whose face said the same thing she thought. There was no hope. Vanna turned her back and rummaged through the wool sack for something, anything to help the girl. She bit her lip and looked over her shoulder at the three women. She had nothing, but hope and maybe God. Though God had abandoned her long ago, she had never abandoned Him.

Vanna took a deep breath and turned back to the women.

"Here," she said and held out a handful of St. Johns Wort. "I usually make a tea of it....but...she'll have to chew...To help with the pain."

The redhead nodded and practically snatched it from her hand, reminding her slightly of the town midwife's daughter, Ann. She passed it to Maddie, who carefully placed it into the girls open mouth. Maddie cupped her chin carefully, as the girl chewed slowly. Her green eyes never left Maddie's.

"I just....I need to....um..." Vanna looked through her sack some more. She was stumped. Who had experience with childbirth? Who didn't hate her....Oh! Ann, the midwife's daughter. "I'm going to get the midwife's---the midwife. She should be able to help."

The redhead raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's wise?"

Vanna straightened her back and put on her best doctor face. "Yes, I am. She will be able to help."

She knew better than to promise to save the girl's life. The girl was most certainly going to die, and any contrary promises would only get stones thrown at Vanna. No thank you!

Vanna turned swiftly, before they had a chance to protest. She hurried off towards Ann's house, heart pounding and bile rising in her throat. She hated the idea of going for help, but if she was going to try.... She moved as quick as she could, though she was not used to such exertions and frequently had to slow her pace. Damn, if only she got out more. Well, if the other peasants didn't hate her so, she would! Branches snapped under her feet, sometimes poking them rather painfully through broken shoes.

She stopped short just outside of Ann's house.

The only person she knew who tolerated her. She wasn't sure if Ann liked her, but it was enough that she had never thrown stones at her. Ann helped her mother bring three brothers into the world. Ann would know what to do...Maybe. Vanna took a deep breath climbed the last stair and knocked a little timidly on Ann's front door.

Inside Vanna heard yelling and crashing, utter chaos. She cringed back from the door as it flew open with a bang!

It was Ann, rubbing her flour covered hands in her apron. "What?! Oh...Vanna..what do you want?"

"Ummm....Well....it's not a usual situation."

Ann's eyebrows went up and then down. She scowled at Vanna, but turned and shouted into the house, "If any of you little nasties move one toe out of this house I will tan your hides from here to Windsor, got it? Now finish your chores and no bellyaching!"

Ann slammed the door behind her. She crossed her arms and stared down at Vanna. "Well?"

Vanna sighed. "There's a strange girl in the forest. She's bleeding and I don't know how to help her. Since your mother was midwife....I thought...."

"You thought I could help you. Of course you did." Ann sighed heavily before she froze and cocked her head to the side. "Wait, did you say she was in the forest?"

Vanna nodded. "I don't know if they're those outlaws or what, but it's just her and two other women. I didn't see anyone else."

"Yeah....Well, if I get killed, I blame you."

Vanna's heart lept. "You're coming?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Thank you," Vanna said, as breathless as Maddie first was.

Ann marched down the stairs, practically running Vanna over. "Show me the way."

Vanna nodded rapidly and hurried towards the forest edge. Why did Ann intimidate her so? Vanna had no idea, but she was glad Ann would be there.

The girl---Maddie---was beside the bleeding girl on her knees, her lips moving a silent prayer. The redhaired older lady stood, hands on hips, staring down at the girl. She looked up to find Ann and Vanna heading her way.

Vanna rushed forward and stared at the girl, she was still so sickly pale, even though the bleeding had stopped.

"Please," she whispered. "Save my baby. Please."

Ann turned slowly to Vanna with a scathing look. Vanna shrank back from Ann. She didn't know what else to do. She felt angry at Ann for being angry at her and mad at herself for being a coward. Vanna pushed her chest out and thrust her shoulders back.

"We can do this," she whispered.

"You better hope we can," Ann whispered. "Those are no peasants. Not like us. They're nobles and if she dies, so do we."

Vanna paled but looked past Ann towards Maddie, who cradled her friends head in her arms.

The redhead stomped over to them. "Well? Is there hope?"

Ann's sharp eyes flitted between the women. She finally spoke. "With God, there is always hope. Now, move, we have work to do!"

Ann rolled her sleeves up, and Vanna followed suit. She nodded at Van and they approached the girl.

Constantly Helpless

The next morning, I awoke, alone, to a message from Edward.

Meet me in the garden. We need to talk about the next step.

I dreaded the talk with Edward. Gauging from the conversation we had earlier, he would be hard to convince. There was nothing else I could do. Looking at Burga getting paler and paler, at Mathlida looking older and older and myself...well...getting more and more worried. Last night while I brushed my hair I noticed more loose strands than usual. It made me so sick to the point where I could not even finish brushing my hair.

I took my time getting ready, still wary of my arm. I moved at a glacial pace, washing my face, dressing myself--where was Burga and where was Alfonso?--and then slowly brushing my hair.

Luckily for me, there were no more stray hairs than normal in the brush. It clattered as I dropped it on the desk. I guess it was time to go see him. I rubbed my bubbling stomach as I left the room.

When I arrived at the garden, Edward was nowhere in sight. It was odd, because Edward was never late. I sat on a nearby stone bench, a queer feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I hated this, the constant digestive upset, the insane worrying. If only I could convince Edward to let us live in the manor. It was a distant possibility, but knowing my brother....

Finally, the door to the kitchens creaked open. I stood up, anxiously awaiting my brother. But he walked past me, as if he didn't even see me.

He hopped the gate with his head held high. I nearly called out to him, but something stopped me. He marched to the gate. That's when I saw the bright green tunics. Fuck.

Edward confronted our father's men at the gate. I pulled myself up the nearest tree.

I winced as my arm ached. I clutched a thick branch for dear life. Surely my pounding heart would give us away. I glanced anxiously back to the door. Alfonso and the rest were still inside the church, breaking their fast with the kindly priest, Father Matthew. Fuck again!

I cursed Marcos. How could he? I still didn't understand why he left. Diogo, I understood, but Marcos. It came from nowhere, and now it infuriated me. If it wouldn't hurt my husband I would spit out everything that traitor said.

Edward stood tall and straight, like our father, hands on his hips as the lead man, Sheehan, spoke to him. I couldn't hear a word he was saying because the wind rustled the tree leaves.

Edward's voice carried up to me. "No, I haven't seen them."

I leaned closer, the better to hear Sheehan.

"Hmm. Funny how, then, the peasants saw you with a young woman on a gray and white horse. The very same horse that is stabled here. The very same horse that was stolen 3 months ago from the King."

I pressed my knuckles to my mouth. Shit! Shit! Shit!

Edward crossed his arms over his chest, surveying Sheehan. "That is not the King's horse."

Sheehan smirked, knowing he trapped Edward. "We know you have her. His man told us she would run to you. Now, unless you want trouble with the King, I suggest you and I escort her home."

"These are not your lands, nor my father's Sheehan, therefore you and he have no power here. I suggest you run to my father and tell him so."

Sheehan laughed. "I am not nearly so dumb. And the lack of power also extends to you my friend."

Shit, I couldn't stay here and listen to them argue. I scrambled down the tree as fast as I could, ignoring the pains in my arm. My knee scraped the tree, but I ignored it and I ignored the screaming in my heart. I could make the decision to stay, to take the punishment I deserved, but I couldn't make that decision for Alfonso, or Mathlida or Burga or anyone else. I hugged the wall of the church and slipped inside to the kitchens, past the servants and into the dining hall where everyone sat; most were enjoying the meal, whilst Alfonso and Diogo were arguing, of course.

Poor Father Matthew was left to mediate. Mathlida flirted openly with Faustino.

Felipe smiled as he slid scraps under the table to Beans.

He glanced at Burga and grinned but she wasn't having any of it. She sat alone, holding a small bag in her lap, as she sat with her eyes closed to the world.

Alfonso poked Diogo. "You fucking stabbed my wife!"

Diogo waved his arms. "Yes! It was an accident!"

"Accident or not---"

I clapped my hands over my face, now was not the time. "---shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Alfonso and Diogo stopped and stared at me open mouthed. The others and the priest all paused, turning their full attention on me and of course Beans shot out from under the table. The better to jump on me. She distracted me, but only for a moment.

I pushed the dog off and took a huge breath. "We have to leave, now! My father's men are here. They know we are here."

The uproar was immediate. Several people shouted at me over Beans' barking.

"What? How?"

"Where shall we go?"

"Where is Edward?"

"Woof! Woof! Wooooof!"

Burga and Felipe exchanged a look that I couldn't decipher.

"Let's go!" Diogo shouted.

I hustled them out of the dining hall, including Father Matthew, while Beans followed close on my heels.

Alfonso turned to the priest and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"If they come to the door, I shall hold them off and keep them occupied," Father Matthew spoke evenly. "Go out the kitchen door, hop the garden wall and come behind the stables. Your horses are waiting for you there. Go!"

Alfonso nodded and reached into his purse and pulled out a silver coin. He handed it to Father Matthew, but the latter shook his head furiously and pushed it back at Alfonso.

"No, I do not want payment. You cannot buy my silence, they already know you were here and I will not lie and say you were not. However, I will not mention the fact that I saw you this morning."

Alfonso nodded. "Thank you Father. But please, take the coin. Feed the hungry. Do some good."

Father Matthew looked into my husband's eyes. Finally he nodded. "May the peace of God be upon you children."

"You likewise Father."

"Go now before it's too late!"

"Thank you."

Felipe escorted Burga into the kitchens. She was sickly pale; her fingers white from where she clutched the bag. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and her head lay upon his. Mathlida watched them with a slight frown. Then she was all business.

"Let's go!" She said and put her hand on my back, the better to push me forward.

I stumbled, but caught Alfonso's hand. He smiled roughly down at me and then dragged me through the kitchens. His hand crushed mine like he was afraid to lose me, afraid if he let go I would be torn away from him. Between him and Beans treading on my gown, it was a wonder I didn't fall forward or back.

I couldn't even think. I didn't want to think because then I would just berate myself for being stupid and foolish and then we wouldn't get anywhere. I'd fall into a pile of mush and just be a hassle to everyone else. All I could focus on, was don't fall, don't fall, don't fall!

We raced through the kitchens, into the garden. The sun peaked through the clouds. It was truly an awful lovely day for March.

Felipe climbed the garden wall first. He helped Burga, then Mathlida and then me over the wall. Faustino and Alfonso followed shortly, the latter with Beans over his shoulder. We ran with Felipe and Burga ahead; always looking for my father's men. Alfonso's arm caught me in the chest as a blaze of green flashed by. I snatched Beans by the tail and yanked her back. She turned to look at me sorrowfully, but made no move to bite. Thank God for a gentle dog. Felipe and Burga were too far in front, even for a hurried whisper to stop them.

We stood close, I held Beans to my chest, practically smothering her, until Alfonso was sure the men had passed. By the time we reached the stables, Burga and Felipe were gone.

I stopped short, as I realized my things were still in the church. My things being the jewelry casket and the little key Edward gave me. How could I forget? But then again, how would I have known that we would have to run, again.

"I have to go back!" I whispered frantically.

"No!" Alfonso's voice was stern.

"You don't understand---"

"---Nonsense, Maddie!" Mathlida hissed.

"You can't," Faustino said, not unkindly.

"But I have to! All my things!"

Behind me Diogo sighed loudly.

I felt the anger bursting out of me. No one was listening. They were important, crucial to our survival, to my own. They never listened to me. I was constantly helpless.

Mathlida huffed. I started anyway, but it was Faustino who grabbed me.

"No...Maddie....I'm sorry." He said.

"But...the key! My mother's jewelry!" I sobbed.

"No, Maddie! We can't go back," Alfonso said.

I turned to look at the church once more. Inside were the last memories of a life I had been determined to leave behind.

Inside that church, the last shred of my hope remained. My soul died a little inside that day as Alfonso and Faustino gently guided me away to the horses.