Tuesday, March 10, 2015

A Time for Lecturing

June 9, 1295

Vanna came at him like an angry bee. He took a step back as she flew in his face.

“How could you?” She shrieked.



He sighed. He knew what this was about, but he’d humor her anyway and let her have her temper tantrum. “How could I what, Vanna?”

“That poor girl is pregnant!”

He nodded slowly. “Yes, she is. Though I believe she would take offense to being called a girl. She’s old enough to be your grandmother.”



“Exactly! Exactly! She is too old to be having babies! Look at her! Stuck in bed!”

“Well, according to both Maddie and Burga this is the norm for her when she’s with child. She should be fine in a few weeks.”

Vanna spluttered. “It’s not right! How could you do this to me?”



“I did not hold her down or force her. Nor were we thinking about you.” He shifted, quite uncomfortable talking about his sex life with Vanna.

Vanna threw her hands in the air. “Of course! We’d better hope we can afford a midwife for a month or more!”

He veered into another topic. “You plan to stay?”

“Yes, I plan to stay! I didn’t realize leaving was an option.”



“You’re not our prisoner. You’re free to leave at anytime.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “It hasn’t felt like it!”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but as I said….”

“I couldn’t leave anyway,” she mumbled. “I have the girls to care for.”

He raised an eyebrow. “The girls?”

“You know, Burga and Mathlida and Maddie.”



“Maddie?”

“Yes, Maddie. Haven’t any of you seen? She’s working her ass off trying to keep this place running. If she keeps going the way she’s going, we won’t have a Maddie anymore.”

Faustino was embarrassed not to have noticed Maddie’s plight. He liked to think of himself as a sensitive man, anticipating the needs of others before his own.

“And!” Vanna jabbed her finger in his face. “SOMEONE needs to have a nice little chat with Alfonso. After I finished yelling at Mathlida, she told me your friend, Alfonso, still hasn’t said two words to her. She needs him. He needs to step up and be a man. She needs her husband. She needs a damn hug!”



“And I suppose you think---”

“--yes I think you’re the right person. You think he would listen to me? No. And, Felipe is so far up Burga’s ass, we might not see him for another year. And I’m currently not on speaking terms with Diogo.”

Faustino smiled. “What did he do this time?”

Vanna’s nostrils flared. “I was sitting down in the hall, sewing up Felipe’s tunic--and you need to tell him that’s not my job--and he walked in front of me, and he well...he waited until he was directly in front of me to...well...to fart! The disgusting man.”

Faustino laughed aloud. “Well, he only does that to ladies he likes. He always kept his mother well farted upon.”

Vanna stamped her foot. “No, no! I will not bear it. The next time he does I--I--”

“--will plug up the hole with your foot?” Alfonso offered from behind him. Vanna’s eyes narrowed and then cut to Faustino. He sighed.



“Alfonso….we need to talk….”

2 comments:

  1. Babies everywhere! I hope this manor has a large nursery.

    Yeah, Alfonso needs a good talking-to. Giving Maddie the silent treatment for only doing what was in everyone's best interest is beyond ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol! I loved it! Way to go Vann for pointing out the obvious to the men! But, EW - he farted on her? Seriously? Lol!

    ReplyDelete