The Beginning

The day dawned dark and cold, just like the day before that,and the one before that, and every day for the past month and a half. Thesounds of my companions sleeping pulled me from a soft slumber. It was time, I thought to myself as my heart thumped erratically in my chest. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and rubbed my aching back. Beside me, my husband inhaled and exhaled peacefully.  I watched his peaceful form for a little while, musing how such an active man could be so still in sleep.  He would not be awoken, I knew so I slid quietly from the warm pallet. Beans the dog, perked up from her digging escape and looked at me. I motioned for her to quietly come to me. The chilly air sent shivers in my spine. If I was not awake fully before, I would be fully awake now. I would have to be fully awake, to do what I was preparing to. It was such a dreary day for a birthday, but I wanted to be alone. There was so much at risk, but....

"Shhhh," I whispered to the little white and tawny mutt who had begun to paw at the ground again eagerly. She wagged her tail in response to my voice. I patted her head gently.

Carefully, I poured the contents of the pitcher into the basin and dipped my dirt crusted fingers in. I took short snapping breaths because of the coldness of the water. Now I was surely awake and ready.

"Clothes....clothes...." I muttered, searching the ground for the overdress I was wearing yesterday.

I plucked the coppery colored over gown from the ground. From it's folds a piece of unbleached linen slipped to the ground and landed in a crumpled mess at my feet.

I dropped the gown on the ground and picked the linen from the ground to wrap around my head. Even for January, it was quite cold and my fingers were stiff as I clumsily laced the front of my dress and adjusted the scarf on my head. A shiver passed over my body, I would have to search the common area in the dim light for my cloak, for it was not in our sleeping area.  

Beans danced around my feet in a jubilation I did not feel. One that I hadn't felt in near a month. Had it really been a month? Or was mysense of time warped? In spite of my anxiety, I had to smile at the foolish little dog. I reached down and grabbed hold of her head, just to stop her. It wouldn't do for her to ruin everything, not when I was so close. Her tail wagged furiously. Such a happy little creature. I let her go and straightened  again.

A fleeting glance to check if he was awake yet. Why was it that a part of me secretly hoped he did wake?

"Alfonso!" I hissed in the lightest voice I could,just to see. No response and a wave of relief washed over me. If he was awake Iwould never be able to go, even if I told him why and how. Not alone, like I wanted.

Gathering my skirts in one hand, I picked my way over the solid bodies of Ethelburga, my maid and Mathilda, my old nurse.

A quick pause to look down. Neither stirred, so I pushed my way through the heavy curtains, the divider from our sleeping area and the main opening of the tent that housed us.

In the main area, the fire had burned down to a soft glow,and eerie shadows danced on the walls of the tent from the trees outside. The chairs were gathered around the fire, empty of their people. My cloak lay draped over one of the stools. I strode over, glad it was found so easily.

Across the main area, near the far tent wall, three of my husband's faithful companions slept,one of them snoring rather loudly. The fourth was standing guard outside the tent, his back to me. Damn, I'd forgotten about the guard. Damn, and it was Sir Felipe who was on guard duty. Double damn! Anyone else, but him...

Beans and I moved silently through the tent. Even the ruffling of the curtain had not bothered Sir Felipe, nor did it bother any of the men sleeping by the fire. Now I was faced with quite a dilemma. A cold day in hell would pass before Sir Felipe, or any of the other men, would let their lady leave unaccompanied. The load of shit my husband would give them alone would beenough to make anyone...well...shit themselves.

As I stooped down to pick my cloak up, I noticed the rocks near the fire pit. A few  rocks.... If it hit the right tree, would Sir Felipe go investigate? Would it be loud enough? I shrugged myself into the old and ratty woolen cloak.  I would give myself two before I would think of another plan. I scooped two rocks into my hand. Holding tightly to her with one arm and the rocks in my other hand, I moved quietly to the left of Sir Felipe's back. My thumb slid over one of the rocks, up and down, up and down, stroking in rhythm with my fast beating heart. If I failed...

I threw the first rock. It missed, hitting the side of th etent at the same time Sir Felipe sneezed. I froze. Not a good idea. I swallowed down a load of bile and tossed the other rock back into the pile in defeat. I wouldn't make it, it was no use.  I shook my head at Beans and turned back towards the fire.

"Okay," I murmmered to her. "Lets go."

Before I knew what happened, before I could sit down on one of the stools before the fire to think of a new plan, Beans the dog took off.

She sailed past Sir Felipe, and around the tent before I could even blink. I jumped up and stood there open mouthed before I wailed, "Beans!"

Behind the curtain, there were sounds of blankets being pushed back. I glanced over my shoulder quickly and an idea popped into my head.

I heard Sir Felipe curse the dog.

"Sir Felipe! Please! Can you catch her?" I asked,making my voice as sad as I could, feeling inspired by Beans' escape. If she could run off, so could I. "I'll wake Sir Diogo...."

Sir Felipe glared at me and sighed. He took off jogging and whistling for the dog, his sword slapping his thigh. I smiled at his retreating back.

"Sir Diogo! Sir Diogo!" I whispered frantically, adding as much distress as I could.

He opened his eyes and grunted at me. I could hear my husband pulling on his hose from behind the curtain, his low bartone voice grumbling.

"Please! Beans the dog ran off and Sir Felipe told me to wake you because he wanted to get her for me. Please?" I begged.

"Oh for the---yes, my lady," he grumbled, hi saccent thick and heavy. He pushed himself from the pallet, annoyed.

"Thank you! I'm going to help him catch her!" I said.

"Uh-huh," said Sir Diogo as he pulled on his leggings.

"Thank you!" I said over my shoulder as I ran from the tent in the opposite direction from Beans and Sir Felipe.

I wasn't too worried about Beans. She always came back. Her favorite game was chase...With her favorite person, Sir Felipe, to boot. I laughed to myself, Sir Felipe hated that dog. But I wasn't about to leave her behind when we left.

"Maudrun!"Sir Felipe yelled from behind. I froze. I hadn't even gotten that far out. I had barely made it behind the tent. Damn!

"Fee-lee-paay!" I called back, turning to face him.

He came towards me, with Beans close to his heels.  

"I thought you ran this way," I said sheepishly.

He cupped my elbow with one hand and steered me towards the entrance of the tent again.

"No, we did not, my lady," he said firmly, each word carefully pronounced and emphasized appropriately,  as he led me through the woods. "And now I owe Sir Diogo a favor thanks to the damned dog."

I let him guide me through the woods, back towards the tent. We approached Sir Diogo, whose arms were folded over his chest, his face looking rather cross.

The had began to break above the tree line, though it was still cold. I shivered.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Doubtful," Sir Felipe replied drily, pushing me into the tent.

Inside the tent the other men were stirring. Mathilda and Burga were beginning the morning tasks of fetching water and preparing for breakfast.  My husband stood , looking at us warily.

Sir Felipe let go of my elbow and tossed Beans on to the ground. He stalked towards his pallet. My husband watched his back.

"Obrigado, Felipe," He said. In response, Felipe waved him off.

Alfonso turned his attention back to me.

"Espousa," he said, a slight reproach to his voice.

"Marido," I said, carefully arranging my voice to sound causal, though it didn't sound quite right to me.

"Come with me," he said, grasping my arm and guiding me behind the heavy curtains.

"Stay," I said soothingly over my shoulder to Beans. I let my husband pull me away. He stood for a few heartbeats with his back to me. I swallowed nervously.

Alfonso faced me and sighed while he ran his fingers over my face. I closed my eyes.

"You know," I babbled. "Beans did run away but---"

"---I worried about you," he said softly. "I don't want you walking off, even if Felipe is near. No matter the reason, marizhndo."

His carefully pronounced English rolled over me like a soothing balm.

"I know. I sorry," I whispered miserably.

"I know you know," he murmured, stroking my face.

"I know you know I know," I said, a half smile on my lips. He smiled back.

"I know, Maudurn, this isn't what you expected when you married me. To be stuck in a tent, moving from place to place. I wish I had something more to offer besides a tent, in the middle of Scotland, in themiddle of winter with many smelly and ill mannered men. If you wish to.....escape,just tell me and I or one of the men or Mathilda and Burga will go with you," he said gently.

"I know, I know. I'm being an awful wife" I said, pressing my knuckles to my forehead, trying hard not to let tears fall. "Alfonso, I'm sorry, I don't want to disappoint you. I know when you married me, this isn't what you expected, either."

"Oh, marizhndo. It's fine. We'll work it out. Just don't go off again. I'll think of something....Bebe, we'll think of something," he whispered soothingly, pulling me in his arms.

He wrapped me up completely and I cuddled into his strong arms and broad chest.

"Well," I said, my voice muffled in his shoulder."We needed water anyway...."

"Aye, well, we did that," he said, kissing my eyelids,my nose and my mouth. "You look tired."

I smiled. "Is that an invitation?"

"I wish, but no. You lay down with and I shall send Mathilda to fuss over you. I must speak with Faustino."

"You mean fuss at me. You don't bother chastising me,but send Mathilda to do your dirty work," I pouted. He chuckled and shoved me towards the pallet. He gave me one last smile and ducked behind the curtain to fetch Mathlida.

I unraveled the scarf from around my head, letting my hairfall loose over my shoulders. I folded it carefully and placed it on the rug besideour pallet. Disappointment flooded over me, as I tried not to cry. I untied the coppery gown, one of the only things I had left from my former life besides my memories and let it fall to the ground. I focused on smoothing out my dress, for if I started to cry, I would not be able to stop.

We had left nearly everything behind. Nothing was the same, nor would it ever be the same. Our families, our lives, our homes....All were gone.

I laid down on our pallet, my back facing the curtains. Iheard Mathlida push into the sleeping area and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. She began pulling up the blankets over me and smoothing them over. She fussed and clucked at me.

"No respect," she said softly, sighing. "Whatare we gonna do with you girl? You can't run off because of a birthday, no matter the tradition. Not in these dangerous times!"

When she left I rolled over and whispered, "Happy Birthday Edward."